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Friday, June 29, 2012

Does my bum look big in these?

A while back when we the Lairs were doing the Flat 400, Aiden and I made a pact now known as the “got your back pact”, it came about when, much to Aiden’s dismay I bought a bread roll covered in poppy seeds at one of the control points, his concern was that as we would be the focus of the Audax paparazzi, what if, in one of the photos my million dollar smile was a virtual mouthful of full stops formed by all the poppy seeds stuck in my teeth. My response to him was that I was confident that he would tell me if such a situation should arise, saving me from any potential embarrassment caused by such a lapse in standards, thus the birth of the the pact. We then discussed this further and recognised the many other potential disasters that plagued the lycra clad endurance celebrity.
The traps are many for those who dare drop their guard while on a ride, snot on your shoulder from a wayward bush blow, chamois cream on the front of a bloke’s nicks (boy he really enjoys his riding) or the latte moustache. There is a horror which surpasses all these things, one thing that can spoil a ride not just for yourself as the enormity is only fully realised when riding with others, it is..see your crack through your nicks syndrome.
I have ridden with people who have suffered this scourge, riding behind him or her and wondering if a heads up would be a welcome part of the usual bunch chit chat, “hey Mary, I can see your ass through your nicks” may not be the thing to say if you want to be friends for life.
Last weekend the wheel had turned full circle for me and while Aidan was not on this particular ride His old man and brother where and the pact bore fruit. “I can see your ass through your nicks” said the guru, “but only when the sun shine on them” (normally the sun is shining from the other direction).
We were already well into our ride and I was well and truly exposed, literally. Mate and Adele were riding off the front and I was thankful Meg wasn’t around coz’ after all the ribbing I give her about her.... I had nothing, it was too cold to take my jacket off and tie around my waist so I/we had to ride this one out, harder for the gang than me.
So, from this I guess you need to ask yourself what you would do? Would you tell a mate or maybe a stranger the bare truth, you could use it as a form of trash talk during a crit.
As an aside, Aiden was the one that recommended those nicks to me in the first place, I've only worn them a handful of times and I think I suggested them to Leigh.
What are your nicks like at the moment??
Andy, Glo and ken are heading off to Ireland for a cycling holiday on Monday, have a great trip.

Monday, June 25, 2012

Cascade 1200

Peter Moore is over in the US participating in the Cascade 1200 click here for general riders progress, you can also follow his progress (times etc.) via a spread sheet by clicking on this link.
The photo shows Peter (right) standing beside brothers, Andy and Barry.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Sunday's ride

Hi gang,
Rides on 9am in Lancefield.
Let us know.
7 more sleeps...Go Cadel

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Drugs in cycling

Hey gang,
Ride is on for 9am Sunday from Lancefield.
Topic for discussion will be doping, since the USADA is retesting every blood sample going back to the bronze age, they have decided to take a good hard look at the guy who invented the Penny farthing whom apparently was high whenever he rode it.
Let us know if you're in, and we'll bring an extra hit.

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Rules for lady Cyclists

On 21st June 1895, the Newark Sunday Advocate ran the following article:
The Unique Cycling club of Chicago is all that its name implies. One of its laws is that on all runs bloomers and knickerbockers shall be worn, and two members who disobeyed this rule recently met with a punishment that they will not forget soon. Union park was the rendezvous for the last run, and 50 members turned out. The president, Miss Bunker, observed two women wearing short skirts over their bloomers.
“Take the skirts off,” ordered Captain Bunker.
“Indeed we won’t,” was the reply.

A crowd of 200 had collected to see the start. The president and the captain held a consultation, and then, taking several strong armed members with them, fell on the skirt wearers and stripped them down to their bloomers.
“It was done in all seriousness,” said Mrs. Langdon. “The club’s rules are made to be kept and not to be broken. Why did we take off the skirts in public? For no other reason but to make examples of the offenders. They publicly defied our rules and were published accordingly.”
New York World 1895
Don’t be a fright
Don’t faint on the road
Don’t wear a man’s cap
Don’t wear tight garters
Don’t forget your tool bag
Don’t attempt a “century”
Don’t coast. It is dangerous
Don’t boast of your long rides
Don’t criticize people’s “legs.”
Don’t wear loud hued leggings
Don’t cultivate a “bicycle face”
Don’t refuse assistance up a hill
Don’t wear clothes that don’t fit
Don’t neglect a “lights out” cry
Don’t wear jewellery while on a tour
Don’t race. Leave that to the scorchers
Don’t wear laced boots. They are tiresome
Don’t imagine everybody is looking at you
Don’t go to church in your bicycle costume
Don’t wear a garden party hat with bloomers
Don’t contest the right of way with cable cars
Don’t chew gum. Exercise your jaws in private
Don’t wear white kid gloves. Silk is the thing
Don’t ask, “What do you think of my bloomers?”
Don’t use bicycle slang. Leave that to the boys
Don’t go out after dark without a male escort
Don’t without a needle, thread and thimble
Don’t try to have every article of your attire “match”
Don’t let your golden hair be hanging down your back
Don’t allow dear little Fido to accompany you
Don’t scratch a match on the seat of your bloomers
Don’t discuss bloomers with every man you know
Don’t appear in public until you have learned to ride well
Don’t overdo things
Let cycling be a recreation, not a labor
Don’t ignore the laws of the road because you are a woman
Don’t try to ride in your brother’s clothes “to see how it feels”
Don’t scream if you meet a cow. If she sees you first, she will run
Don’t cultivate everything that is up to date because you ride a wheel
Don’t emulate your brother’s attitude if he rides parallel with the ground
Don’t undertake a long ride if you are not confident of performing it easily
Don’t appear to be up on “records” and “record smashing.” That is sporty.

‘Rational dress’ for cyclists
When Annie Londonderry embarked on a circumnavigation of the globe in 1896 (to settle a bet that a woman could not cycle around the world), she soon discarded the corset and heavy skirts considered acceptable sportswear at the time in favour the more liberating athletic bloomers pictured below.
The rational dress society statement of purpose reads in part: The Rational Dress society protests against the introduction of any fashion in dress that either deforms the figure, impedes the movement of the body, or in any way tends to injure the health. It protests against the wearing of tightly fitted corsets, of high-heeled or narrow toed boots and shoes; of heavily weighted skirts, as rendering healthy exercise almost impossible.
However, the bloomer made enemies with women wearing them complaining of being ridiculed, fined, and even treated “like a prostitute” by local authorities.

Friday, June 8, 2012

Sunday's ride

If you not away on the long weekend then we'll be meeting at the usual spot on Sunday - gentlemen's hours 9 am start. Possible ride on Monday as well. Oh, and a wheel building class on Sunday arvo if anyone is interested let me know Andy

Friday, June 1, 2012

Beauty and the beast

The girl and I headed out a couple weeks ago in an attempt to tame the beast down the road.
The map doesn't tell you much and in fact it's only a short ride but the detail it has no chance of showing is the effort she put in, or how I felt when she made it to the top and slumped over her handlebars unable to get off her bike, in fact I was choked up, mostly because I reckon the main reason she was so determined to get up was to impress her dad.
At about 600m in length it averages out at about 10% but I reckon the first third would be somewhere near 12-14.
There's a ride planned for Sunday morning at the winter softy start time of 9am from Lancefield. Let me know if you can make it.
While we're talking beasts, during the first stage of this week's Tour of Luxembourg there was a great display of some vintage Jens Voigt, when asked about his late attack he came up with some classic Jens, "It felt like the good ol' days with Jensie off the front, everyone chasing from behind, people hating me because I'm attacking all the time…….It was beautiful," he said. "Like I always say: 'It's better to be on the giving end of pain rather than on the receiving end'."
Hope to see you Sunday.